


Disguise

by cyndario



Series: Shudun Ryder | Seasons Change [1]
Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect: Andromeda
Genre: Therapy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-24
Updated: 2018-03-24
Packaged: 2019-04-07 08:32:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14076996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cyndario/pseuds/cyndario
Summary: Shudun dislikes these... sessions, but knows that as a good leader she sometimes has to set the example for the rest of them and do things she really doesn't want to.Turns out she might need this.





	Disguise

**Author's Note:**

> Please be patient with me, I'm (again) trying something new.

Shudun sat in the med-bay with Lexi, tapping her feet on the legs of her chair as she sat up straight, wrapping her fingers in the excess fabric of her oversized hoodie. Her face was painted in a neutral mask but Lexi could see it in how rigid her posture was that she wanted to bolt.

 

Not a promising sign on their first meeting.

 

Lexi cleared her throat to settle her own jitters and jumped right into it.

 

“Could you state your name for me, please?” Shudun arched her brow and pursed her lips, almost as if she was holding her words back. After a moment she flicked her eyes at her hands as she answered clearly,

 

“Shudun Nur Ryder.”

 

Lexi nodded in affirmation, then asked another question. “And your age, please?”

 

“Six hundred and twenty two.” Lexi narrowed her eyes a bit at her nonchalant tone, watching as a smirk painted itself across her lips.

 

Snark and humor. Classic.

 

“You're looking good for your age, Ryder.” Lexi teased, going along with her. Shudun's face brightened a little, her smile becoming more genuine.

 

“Why thank you, _doctor._ ”

 

“You're free to call me Lexi in these sessions if it makes you more comfortable. I’m not strict on titles.”

 

“Good.”

 

Lexi watched and waited for her to continue her thought, but it seemed that was all she was going to say about it. Taking a deep breath, Lexi tried another approach to keep the conversation going.

 

“Your name is absolutely beautiful, however, Ryder. I hope you don't mind me mentioning that.”

 

“Thank you.” Shudun smiled a little, her eyes crinkling on the sides. She relaxed her shoulders some, nestling into the cushion of her chair a bit more. Lexi smiled inwardly at her unconscious movements. Progress.

 

“I looked at your family's files after our wake from cryo and you and your brother share a common name?” Shudun laughed softly at her phrasing. She knew what she was _trying_ to say but she was gonna have a little fun first before answering.

 

“I mean I know we're total opposites but we _are_ twins, doc.” Shudun teased, and Lexi’s skin tinted a deeper shade in embarrassment as she fumbled with her reply.

 

“I _meant_ your middle names, Ryder.” She chastised, wrestling to gain control of the conversation yet again.

 

“Momma thought it would be cute if both our names matched.”

 

Lexi cocked her head to the side, a little confused by her wording. Shudun rubbed the back of her neck as she cleared her throat. That explanation sounded better in her head. Probably what she gets for trying to be snarky.

 

“Dad was Muslim—gave both Jabbar and I names that matched his upbringing. Momma liked the name ‘Nur’ which means ‘light’ and thought it was perfect that it was unisex.”

 

Lexi smiled softly at the meaning, leaning forward a bit.

 

“Thank you for sharing that. I know it's incredibly personal.” Shudun shrugged sheepishly as she picked at an imaginary loose string on her pants.

 

“How do you feel, knowing the meaning of your name? Do you ever try to emulate it?”

 

“I’m proud of my name. Always have been. But besides that not really.”

 

“You are the Human Pathfinder. In a way, you are a light for many of us right now. Does the pressure overwhelm you?”

 

Shudun snorted before blurting, “I’m really just hoping for the best and tryin’ not to fuck anything up.”

 

Both looked at each other for a moment before they burst into laughter, the convulsions shaking Lexi so hard she had to clutch her sides.

 

“Ryder!” Lexi chastised once she was able to breathe, and Shudun shrugged her shoulders.

 

“I’m being honest! My training led me to believe I was finna be nothing more than a glorified bodyguard. Now I’m… this.” She finished quietly, and Lexi clasped her hands together across her thighs.

 

“It's daunting, isn't it?” She surmised, and Shudun scrunched her nose as she shot her a look that basically read ‘you think?’.

 

“I don't know how dad was so sure about this, or Jabbar. It's like I was the only sane person in our family.”

 

“But you're here. And doing a fine job, I might add.”

 

“You're biased.” Shudun muttered, fighting the urge to smile.

 

“A little. But I doubt the amount of training we’ve all received could prepare us for this. I just want to end our session—because our time is unfortunately almost over—that you mustn't be so hard on yourself on the things you can't change. We're in a whole new galaxy. There's going to be unknown variables at every turn, some things you can’t fix. Just take each day one at a time. And _please_ take some time to rest. You _do_ deserve it, Ryder.”

 

Shudun nodded, slowly standing and stretching her arms towards the ceiling. Shooting a soft look towards Lexi, she waved as she made her way out the door.

 

Just as the door closed behind her, Shudun released a heavy sigh. Heading towards the bridge she asked Kallo to plot a course for Voeld. Once she saw their direction was set, Shudun walked into the airlock and began prepping her gear. She was slowly slipping back into Ryder, checking and rechecking her equipment. Just as she finished, she sent a quick notification to both Drack and Jaal to let them know to gear up. Upon exiting, she descended the ladder to her room to change into her armor.

 

When her feet landed on the lower deck, she looked up to see Lexi standing outside of med-bay with her arms across her chest. Her face was unreadable, but Shudun could tell she wasn't exactly happy. Nodding in her direction, Shudun turned and walked into her quarters, her shoulders set.

 

She’ll rest later.


End file.
